Non Confessions
by Lyrical Rex
Summary: [BakuraRyou shounenai oneshot] Bakura lies at night and thinks of his Light.Part I of Confessions sequence.


**_Disclaimer: I no own Yugioh_**

Non Confessions

Inspired by and dedicated to Misura.

Why? Because I love her work. Especially the story "Forever not Yours." I just.... Love it. She is my inspiration for all the dramatic Romancey fics that I have out. I'm serious. You don't even know HOW excited I was when she reviewed me!

Well, plus the fact that I thought of the base line of the poem I put in the background while reading "Forever not Yours" for the fifth time in four days. Okay, I'll get on with the story now.

_**Non Confessions**_

At night I lie awake, wondering if the angel next to me lies asleep. My angel, my hikari, my Ryou. And I wonder if Ryou is in deep enough sleep to allow me to touch him?

((My fingers itch for you))

He's so close, my angel forever, my sweet Ryou. All I have to do is reach out to touch those silken strands. Shining silver in the dim glow of street lights. He's right there...

((My throat, so dry it burns))

I stare at the ceiling, never closing my eyes, never blinking, for fear of seeing my light Ryou with HIM. I can tell my Light is pining for that stupid pharoah. Why you ask? He always hangs around him, always sides with him on every matter. Plus the fact that her murmurs the name "Yami" while he sleeps.

((My heart TEARS for you))

He's your world, isn't he Ryou?! Your Burning Desire, your Secret Soul. I can hear you murmurring, "Why can't you love me, Yami?" in your dreams. Why HIM?!

((Now into itty pieces, falling))

But I promise you Ryou, you are more to me than He will ever be to you. If he is your world, you are my universe. You are my Light, my sun, my moon. My heart, soul, and blood are all at your disposal.

((So small now, you have to close your eyes to see))

I can't allow myself to touch him, my Light. I can't allow myself to even brush his skin lightly with my fingers. I've already pushed him too far away with my previous antics, trying to take over the world and all. He distrusts me enough not to tell me anything. The only things he says to me are greetings, only two words every time we pass each other.

((Hurts so bad to breath))

Sure, he's never told me his feelings about the pharoah outright, but I can tell. He is my other half after all.

Why, Pharoah?! You already took everything from me before! Kuru Eruna, remember?! Why steal everything from me again, in the form of an angel's heart?! WHY?!

I bite back the tears threatening to spill from my inner ranting. Tears are for the weak.

((I cry for you))

My breath hitches as arms encircle my waist, a familiar sleeping head burying itself in my chest. Silky strands spill across my chest, and it feels great. Stop it, Bakura, I scold myself. It is not your place to think of that.

((I bleed for you))

Cold tears spill onto my chest, mixing with the long white strands. My anger at the pharoah for causing my Light to cry is rivaled by my jealousy that he has the power to, and is beaten by the the softness growning in my heart for this angel in my arms. Remind me to kill the man.

((My heart is tearing for you))

"Yami, why don't you love me?" I am pierced by a thousand swords. Both by the hurt these words cause me, and the hurt that caused these words.

"Shh, Ryou," I whisper softly, stroking his soft strands. Ryou calms down a little, shuddering as his tears stop. My hand freezes.

Bad Bakura, I berate myself. You told yourself you wouldn't touch him.

Ryou stirs again, whipering.

Just this once...

((These are words I'll never say))

His breathing evens out as I continue stroking softly. Gods, he is so beautiful in the dim light like this... His hair is so soft and silky, I don't ever want to stop. My lips part slightly as I breathe.

((Things you'll never know are true))

"Ryou," I murmur, afraid to disturb his slumber. I want to stop, so even his sleeping ears will never hear the words coming after. But I can't: "I love you, my Light."

((My heart is yours for the taking))

Ryou has loosened his grip on my body. Unwillingly, I remove the arms, and gently push him to the other side of the bed. I tuck him in, and kiss his forehead before standing up. He smiles slightly, most likely imagining "his Yami" to be the one to have kissed him.

((But do you want it?))

I lay myself down on my side of the bed, far as I can away from Ryou. I smile softly as I closed my eyes to slumber. "I have a beautiful hikari," I mutter thoughtfully. I frown. No, he's not mine.

((It's broken))

I sleep and dream of the day that you murmur about me in your sleep. Which will be in prescisely: never. I love you, my Light.

((Can't you see my heart tearing?))

* * *

"Yami," the sleeping boy murmurs, unaware of everything around him. "My Yami... My 'Kura. Why can't you love me?" 


End file.
